Friday, August 23, 2013

Let Your Kids Be Kids: Be Mindful of Your Words

Back in May, I decided to start including some more spiritually inspirational posts on the blog. I was hoping to make it a regular thing, but one thing led to another and now it's August. Making no apologies for how I blog or how often (because if we're being honest here, I know you don't depend on my posts for much), here is my latest addition.

"How we speak to our children and the words we use can encourage and uplift them and strengthen their faith." ~ Rosemary W. Wixom

I think, as adults, it becomes easy for us to get caught up in our own responsibilities and burdens. I think that can affect our expectations for our children in day to day life.

Since reading this talk, I've taken my reactions to G acting out in a different way. I'm not perfect, and I don't always react in a way that I am proud of, but I have tried to make this a habit. When G is particularly acting out, I take his hands and ask him (sometimes repeatedly) to listen to me. Then I simply tell him that I love him, and that I love him no matter what. This is something I used to do with him after I'd lost my own temper. "Even when I'm mad at you, I still love you." Now this sentiment is echoed back to me after G has had an outburst. I don't know what prompted me to start saying it to G when he is upset, but it calms him. It doesn't make all his hurt and anger go away, but it helps.

I got a little insight later when we were talking about N. He said "Sometimes I wish I never had a baby sister." I told him this made me sad. He said "Sometimes she's grumpy and I don't want her." I told him I love her all the time, even when she's grumpy, just like I love him and want him all the time. He said, "Even when I'm grumpy and mad?"

"Yes - I love you and want you with me all the time, no matter what." 

I'd had no idea he had that fear, but I am so glad we could talk about it. I am so glad I could tell him absolutely that this fear was baseless.

Kids will act up, and act out. How we choose to respond shapes their views of the world, and of themselves. We can't always be our most patient and generous selves, but we can strive for that.

"And then may we pause to listen, for a child is most capable of speaking great and marvelous things in return." ~ Rosemary W. Wixom

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